Did you hear the one about the 30$ cherries and the blind masseuse...

    After having sampled good food and finding our new home, it was time to go explore the core of the city. So, like any good tourists we headed straight for Ben Thanh Market. The "agora" of Saigon city center. A beautiful fruit and vegetable market with lots of  mixed riff-raf. Being surrounded by delicious fruits and veggies I tell Val that we might as well take advantage of it and get a few things. I spot some nice dark cherries and she sees a few more fruits she wants to try out so she points to a few, and 2-3 ladies start cutting and making fruit bundles for us to buy. At this point, Val starts asking how much it will cost and the lady responds "Phooo fity" so I'm trying to figure out what she means because the Vietnamese currency is quite different from ours and generally speaking "450" would mean 450 000 Dong but that would mean 25$ for 3 small baskets of fruit... so I have my wallet open and am asking Val if she is sure it's 450 000 Dong and not 45 000 Dong (2,50$). Val, not realizing 450 000 Dong is the equivalent of 25$ says 450 000 sounds about right. I take out a 500 000 Dong bill (approx. 30$) and before I can further argue my point, the fruit vendor yanks it out of my hand and gives me a 50 000 dong bill as change. As soon as she does so I tell her she has made a mistake and that she owes us a good 350 000 Dong but she refuses and says that is what Valerie agreed to buy. I tell her it's impossible that such a small amount of fruit cost so much and I tell her she should be ashamed of herself for scamming a family in front of their own children. The voices start getting louder and local shoppers around us start paying attention to the conversation. Vietnamese people have a reputation for being so friendly that we got caught off guard but not for long, a local couple came to our rescue yelling at the vendors and telling them that what they were doing was preposterous and unacceptable! After a few more minutes of yelling and threats to call the police, the vendors returned us our money and the couple brought us to another fruit kiosk they trusted.  Wow! What a fruitful afternoon!

After all that yelling I had a massive neck spasm and was in need of a good massage therapist so I started googling my way around Ho Chi Minh City for the best places close to where I now lived (District 7).  A few places came up but all of them had only 2-3 reviews and they all seemed to have been written by the owner's cousins. So I picked the only place that actually advertised its prices online.

My taxi driver drops me off in a dark alley full of small shops with neon lights all stating they give "very nice good massage". I finally find my place but... before I continue, I forgot to mention that prior to arriving here I had given Val my watch, my wallet and all my valuables, keeping only the money I assumed I would need for the massage. So back to the story, I decide to ask for a 1 hour neck and back a massage and then another hour of foot massage. The total cost is just under 20$ CND. They show me into a small room the size of an airport toilet stall with dark purple lights. I am told to undress and wait. So I do as I'm told and a few minutes later a lady with big dark sunglasses comes into the room and starts touching the walls, the table, my briefs and then says "hello". She then takes out her cell phone, presses some buttons, and a robotic voice answers her "The time is now 5h30 pm". I'm thinking, "Oh wow, this lady is blind!" Anyhow, after that initial surprise the first massage went fairly well but then I realize that I also asked for a foot massage and that I had forgotten I had a broken baby toe on my left foot!! How do you explain to a Vietnamese woman that cannot speak a word of English that you have a broken toe...?? Ah, ha! Eureka! My iphone picture of the black purple toe I had taken when I broke it a week ago! Ohhh Ssssnap, she is blind! So much for that idea... In the end, I got my two massages and, although my toe got a little more attention than it needed, I still came out paying only 20$ for two hours of massage! Not bad, not bad at all.